The Gambler

[bruorton]

I was belatedly applying the brakes
as I went into the sharp, blind curve
and my focus was on the other car
coming at me across the narrow bridge
so I didn't see the little sparrow plunge
between our speeding tons of metal
until it had already shot through the fast-
vanishing gap, descending diagonally
to flick safely into the tangled bank
flashing past beside the road.
                                                  Oh Life,
you wild gambler! Give me more.

Comments

[emusnare.livejournal.com]

Hey, cool, I like this version as well! The different word choices in this one give it more motion, I think. The position of the penultimate line is great. As in the first version, I appreciate the contrast in pacing between the first sentence (the greater mass of the poem) and the two concluding sentences. Impressive that, for a moment anyway, your eye was on the sparrow AND the oncoming car :-)